Yeah, I'm actually updating... shocked? Me too.

I'm so very tired... I've stayed up late the past two nights. Last night for the election, obviously. Ugh. I wish Florida would just get its act together so this thing would be over. Ten days! Who can wait ten days?

Mary, who is probably the only person reading this anyway: There's really no contest there. Keith.

Me: There's no easy answer. Aughhh! I don't know what to think. I do know not to give up on him. It was just so ironic when Jonathan's OOA, Terra, said that Jonathan and I were like Mulder and Scully (not in those words): it's so obvious to everyone but them. Or in my case, him. Sigh... And she told me that right after I asked God to help me forget about him. Is this a sign? But I probably shouldn't be asking Mary. I talked to Brother Nick about it, finally. No clear answers there. Of course. No one has clear answers. Or easy answers. Or any answers.

I do know this: I am deeply and truly in love with Jonathan. And he's all I can think about. And I want him to be happy, if that means I don't get him. And it most likely does.

But you never know.